Misunderstanding that there is a need for change sometimes the reason for the change might not be clear — If you and your family do not understand the need for change you can expect resistance to change. Especially from those who strongly believe the current way of doing things works well…and has done for years! Famous words, “My Mom did it that way.”
Fear: Fear of the unknown — One of the reasons I see frequently for resistance to change is fear of the unknown. Before some people can take steps toward the unknown is when they feel that not changing is a greater problem than the current situation and then they will move towards in a new direction.
Lack of competence in the change — This is a fear many people will find difficult to admit. But there are times when change is required and may require changing so of your skills, and some people will feel that they won’t be able to make the transition very well. An example might be you have been a single person or a couple and now you have a baby. You have to change the way you do many things.
A connection to the old way — If you ask people in a family or an organization to do things in a new way, as much as to you the new way makes your life easier and saves you time, you will be setting yourself up against all that emotional connections to the old way – and that’s not trivial. (This might go back to the way your mother did it and you would never want to insult your or their mom.)
Low trust — When people don’t believe that they can change there is likely to be resistance to change.
Temporary or a phase — Some people believe that the reason for change is a temporary or a phase.
Not asking the family — If your family is allowed to be part of the change there is less resistance. People like to know what’s going on, especially if their lives may be affected.
Poor communication — Well Duh! It’s self-evident isn’t it? When it comes to change there’s no such thing as too much communication. Everyone needs clear ideas as to what is expected of him or her.
Changes to routines — When we talk about comfort zones we’re really referring to routines. We love them. They make us secure. So there’s bound to be resistance whenever change requires us to do things differently. Make sure you keep talking about what you want and need. Everyone can have a role. (OK, maybe not the pets but everyone else.)
Benefits and rewards — When the benefits and rewards for making the change are not seen as tolerable for the trouble involved. Make sure everyone gets some benefit from your changes. Example, if Mom has help keeping the laundry done then she may have more time to go to the park or read the kids a story.
Realize there may in fact be resistance to change and planning for it from the start will allow you to successfully implement your changes. Be proactive you can do this. I love your comments. What has been your resistance to change?
Thanks Pamela
Great post Pamela! One of my favourite topics.
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Thank you Dr.
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Lovely post Pamela! It is important to start, I agree.
Also, overthinking sometimes kills the spirit too, I find. Sometimes I really want to do something but I spend so much time thinking about it and doubting it and thinking about the consequences and so forth that I don’t quite get anywhere with it! It’s important to not make that mistake too.
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Agreed. Thanks so much for sharing your comments.
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Great post. Change can be hard. If we could just look at it from a perspective that it could be an adventure.
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Thanks you are right.
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Great post as always
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Thanks so much
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The fear always gets me – and it’s not always something big, sometimes something little makes me wary of change.
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You seem to overcome your fear.
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I work at it – it’s not easy, and it still wins sometimes!
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This is such a great post. I feel as though I’m in the midst of a lot of change at the moment. And trying to embrace and just go with it. Thanks for some wise words here Pamela.
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Thanks Miriam! I appreciate that.
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