My sister is pregnant we will be welcoming the newest member of the hive very soon. She moved almost 1000 miles away from home and I am 2000 miles away from her. She has made me aware of some of the crazy things new parents have to think about when you don’t have family around.
According to sis, don’t send a new mom a plant. She has just brought home a new addition that is totally helpless and dependent upon her. She needs to focus on keeping the newborn fed, burped, diapered and hope that she can sneak in a shower. That plant is going to die a slow painful death.
What she does need is to for you offer to run a few errands. If you are dropping off meal call to see if she might need toilet paper, soap, dog food or kitty litter. Before you head over, call her again. Her post baby brain may have now thought of something she forgot. (I can’t tell you how many times I have talked to her when she is running to the store for dog food or kitty litter.)
She also would really appreciate if you would come over and spend some time so she can take a shower and a nap would be so wonderful. Of course she is not sleeping so you don’t even have to ask.
If you folded laundry or did a load of laundry you would be the most amazing person on her list.
This will be baby number 2 so while she has some experience with kids don’t assume she knows it all. She still needs help. Assume this delivery was not any easier just because she has done it before.
Baby No 1 will also require a little extra attention. If you have kids same age, she would be for grateful if you could take him on a play dates to the park or just a trip around the block on their bikes. Give him something to entertained him and fill his time for he doesn’t feel so deserted.
She says if you are her best friend you might want to consider cleaning out the litter box, because they are “struggling”. LOL
But If you say anything about her weight she will block you.
Don’t forget about her after two weeks. That is when everyone else will stop coming by. But that is when she will really need you.
Of course if you live in another state you can send her a gift certificate for a cleaning service or food delivery.
Not that she knows it all but I’m just saying she actually has some good ideas here. She is of course my sister.
So what did you need when you were a new mom?
Thanks Pamela
#momlife #newmom #parenting #overwhelmed #bestfriends
It’s a long time since I was in that position but I do recall saying to my husband that after two weeks you’re left completely on your own, and how I had to cover my long hair with a scarf most of the time because I could never get time to both wash and dry it and it was too long to just leave wet. And we got completely swamped by the nappies that were soaking in the bathroom.
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Nappies have come a long way. But the mom being overwhelmed still happens. Thanks.
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When we had our triplets people signed up to come in pairs and hold babies and visit with me or give me time to make all the bottles I needed to make. We had a second fridge just because we had so many bottles to make up. Also two friends signed up to come for couple of hours every particular day of the week. One came on Tuesday one came on Wednesday and one came on Thursday and it was so nice to have people to talk to or to get a bath or straighten up the house or run to the store.I never did master that nap thing while people were in the house. Also there was one delightful lady who came over on Friday nights when we were just getting started with our large brood, and would spend the night on our sofa in the living room with all the babies in their bassinets. She got up all during the night and fed them and disappeared by five the next morning. One day week we got a full nights sleep. That was an incredible gift. An artist friend painted murals on the nursery walls because pictures hanging would have been a danger with our trio. They climbed on everything and worked together to get up high. The murals were delightful. Your sister has very good ideas. Congrats to everyone.
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Wow triplets. You are super woman. I am so glad you had help. Sounds like you have an amazing support group. Thanks.
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Oh there were three friends who came during the week. By the way the signing up part took place in the Sunday school classes at our church. They took us on as a project. Oh and one person picked our oldest daughter up from school daily as her son went there too. That was a huge help.
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That is fabulous. So glad to hear it. Thanks.
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very thoughtful post and great ideas!
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Thanks.
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What wonderful, thoughtful ideas-this post should be printed and handed out to everyone who knows a new mother x 🙂
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Thanks.
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Excellent! Yeah…need moments in the day…even to just stand in the shower with the quiet. So happy for the wee one.
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Thanks.
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The plant will die a slow painful death–too funny! I never thought to call people ahead of time to see if they needed anything else. That’s great advice.
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Thanks it’s true.
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When my grandson was born, I hired a cleaning person for my son and daughter-in-law. They said I was the best gift giver ever.
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You are mother in law of the year!!!
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😊no strive to be.
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To be honest, the most help I ever got was the occasional meal. Other than that, no assistance from anyone- and that was with 11 kids! I always did get a little envious of the women who got help. Sigh.
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11 kids!!! Wow you’re amazing!!!
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Having prepared meals and meals brought in by friends and family was so helpful to us those first few weeks. Congrats to the new parents and aunt 👶🏻!
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Thanks. I agree meals are pretty important 🍲
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This is a great post. I remember needing sleep as a new mom. (many years ago). It is also good to give some positive reinforcement. Moms have a habit of second guessing themselves on what they do. It is really nice when an experienced mom or gramma tells them they are doing okay, they will be okay, their kids will be okay, and then brings in some freezer meals so new mom can focus on breathing.
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Agreed. Thanks
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Cute. I wish I could have sent this blog to friends when my kids were tiny
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Ahh thanks!
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Reblogged this on My Life as Mrs. A and commented:
As a new mom, I appreciated this post. However, even though I don’t have the time to clean my house…I feel awful asking someone else do it too… I would appreciate if people visited more… or sent me a cleaning lady! LOL that I wouldn’t mind so much… there’s a difference with a stranger cleaning my house than a friend or relative….. is that weird??
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Thanks so much. I understand that not weird.
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As a new mom I really appreciated friends bringing food over for us. It was heaven to not have to cook.
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Thanks so much. So glad to help.
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